“To walk away from someone you care about who cannot meet your needs is one of the bravest acts you can do.” -Jillian Turecki

And as much as I had resisted over and over again there is only so much a soul could bear, I knew I had to walk away if he couldn’t level up. And that’s just what I did at long last. Rather dilatorily or perhaps in alignment with what is meant for me, a coming home. I can’t say where it is but I know not only that I’m finally heading there but in peace, amity and fondness within myself instead of at war.

I gave my service to you. I lived and offered it all for your life, not at all for mine. I didn’t give up, until now. It’s most likely the only thing I am proud of quitting. At least my children can learn from my experience and hold space and service to their heart first foremost. Now on to unlearning that one must attach to one’s suffering and that the only way to feel better is to avoid the pain at all cost…it has bedeviled us. Yet there is nothing the heart cannot fix with some valiant effort to charge through the fear and release it all. Here it is in the heart of it all, in the present not reacting but creating, at long last.

“All we can do in a moment like this is create and hold space for that person. And do the same for ourselves. It is not up to us if they are going to heal or not. Each individual has their own journey. Each person has to choose themselves if they are going to create or react, if they’re going to react with fear or heal with love.” Anna Mikaelyan

At long last, I remember how to breathe again.