Side by side with me until our midriff clenches no more,
until I feel the agua frescas like a waterfall, whilst the last drop was some time ago.
Heels dig into moody and lyrical lure,
and yet without paper to scribe, notes playout in my mind,
every moment is a poem.
A gift of clarity if you choose or else into a dense fog you will trod.
Our time is now, meeting ourselves here not where we want to be,
all the flaws, blips and struggles swirled into a dream’s spell for us to swallow.
Perhaps it’s why I didn’t feel the fresh puree as a gush of nourishing and soothing relief.
Thy kingdom come; that blasted past full of purpose.
Thy will be done; that journey out of the past.
Side by side with me out of trauma and pain,
still for a photo, aloof of the healing in process for just a moment.
No better time than now to find the beauty on this plane we wander.
Stand in your truth, sit first if you must.
Celebrate your authenticity.
Take time to sit if not with me with yourself,
for without a conscious breath,
you will choose belonging,
a sacrifice of your worth,
where all wealth is lost.
Side by side, no strangers will we be.
And yet at midnight, strange things have happened here.
In the dark within and out,
I can’t always see,
but I know I’m a long way from where I need to be.
The song in my head hums what I’m ready for.
It’s here I start,
fearlessness in me,
in all who have arrived,
for this moment.
Ready to be swept off our feet,
hallowed be thy name.
This photo helps me to consider what I didn’t see in my past. What shame, that hand on the bride’s knee? Strange things indeed did happen. We couldn’t fall any further, the bride would agree, under a spell back then with her choice to belong and so numb to a heavy foreign hand to the delicate knee. A couple of decades all the more wiser now and I can taste the agua frescas and red velvet cake on my tongue, as I stood witness to my friend on her new chosen path. She has taken a detour, as have I. I desired to walk on at that fork in the road where I chose not to be in a relationship where I don’t have the power to decide on any terms collaboratively anymore. The thing about codependency is that while in a dream spell you think that person has your back with only benevolent intentions and so what’s a little sacrifice of all that you measure and all that you build for that thirsty soul to find what it’s searching for? Only to realize you broke it all, all that you reasoned, all that you cared for and cold as a stone it left you. What I don’t recall is this hand on my friend’s knee…stuck in a dream spell alright. I didn’t see a lot of things back then. I’m wide awake now. These systems we engage in know it and don’t like it one bit…this shared human experience. While I am happy to take time to craft here and for you to join me side by side as we wander the everyday, at this stage it’s a much bigger picture. One that we have no idea is out there. Thanks to these platforms, a reflection of ourselves is seen collectively and they are realizing their collective extraction isn’t working out entirely as planned. What we got, they can’t take, they can’t even feel. We realize what we don’t really need now, don’t we? My oh my, we are returning home and they are trembling.
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